We took a road trip to Oregon in the fall of last year. It was one of those trips I wanted to take for years, and one I often think about since.
Sometimes we even dream of buying a little cottage along a river nestled in those pines and wild blackberry bushes, minutes from the coast, even for just a year or two. It’s a happy thought I dream of from time to time.
Someday we’ll be back, if for nothing else than to feel the thrill of our heart’s content.
This was a last minute trip (as most of our trips are). We had hardly a plan except to explore and enjoy, which landed us on top of a volcano, through the cityscape, and to the sands of the pacific just on day two. We struggled to find a place to stay each night (it was Labor Day weekend) but ended up with just what we needed.
In four days we totaled 31 hours of driving in the car, but we mixed it up with park stops, beach play, and lots and lots of snacks. And the drive was half the fun with all the beauty we got to see together!
It was an incredible trip, one of my very, very favorites.
Potty training the twins has been so interesting to me. I dreaded it and put it off and mentally geared myself up for it for weeks while they insisted on using the potty and tried to put on underwear. So when the rain came and planned to stick around for days, I figured we might as well go for it since we’d be staying inside a lot of the time anyway.
But I still dreaded it.
Monday morning I thought of a great heap of reasons why we should put it off another few days or weeks, but Ava was too excited to show them their new underwear and I’d been putting her off for just as long too.
So we did it, we’ve been doing it. Five days in and we’re still not in the clear, but we’re getting there! And it’s surprising to me how much I’ve been enjoying it. How in the world have I been enjoying it?!
I’ve been back to back wiping up messes, folding laundry, dumping potties, picking up juice boxes, and soaking up spills. We’ve been up a lot at night, up too early in the morning, and up more than my body seems up to. I’ve been so tired.
But I planned for this.
I planned to be 100% present and 100% WITH THEM. (Because how can you protect your couch without that?)
But that has made all the difference.
I think perhaps I have enjoyed my twins more than I ever have before. I’m enjoying them so much! We all are. I’ve laughed with them, cuddled with them, cheered for them. All day I read with them, played with them, LOOKED at them. Really saw them.
And now I see their squinty eyed, gap-toothed smiles as they lean their face into mine and feel my heart swell to bursting because of just how much I LOVE them. And I love this time with them. They are so adorable! So despite the challenges and the fatigue and the many moments I sink, I appreciate all this. It’s been so good.
And it’s inviting that much more joy in our home. #mamanotes
“Mom remember this morning how Thea had poop on her finger and we couldn’t figure out where it came from? Well we found it! It’s in your closet!”
Jake and I slumped on the couch together at 9pm, wondering, with partial desperation (but mostly just exhaustion) why the day was so hard. Except we knew largely why. It was Mother’s Day and the twins’ birthday and a whole clumpful of mixed expectations and efforts along with all the usual mess and mishaps (and lots of noise).
Add in my efforts to try to get a nice picture of all four of them together (because they were already dressed and looking nice for church) and everyone’s frustrations festered. I still didn’t end up getting it, at least not in their nice clothes.
It was funny (and not funny) throughout the day just thinking about everything that was happening. The twins fighting over their new toys, Ava yelling that she hated me, and Hyrum locking himself out of the apartment to pout. Esther was crying most of the day because she didn’t have the other stroller or she couldn’t fit her baby in just right, and the other kids whined and teased each other enough that I just laughed when we all sat down to eat brownies and ice cream because it was the quietest the house had been ALL DAY. We cringed at the thought of what our neighbors were thinking. We were all in need of a reset.
That reset came today. Jake and I got up before the kids to get ready for the day, and when Hyrum came into my room after waking I just held him. “I love you Mom,” he said, hugging me back.
I hugged them all as they woke up, looked into their little wanting eyes, and really looked, really listened. I moved along with their ideas and shooed away any thoughts of expectation. We fetched balloons from the grass, watched the wind move the leaves, and built train tracks. We still had tears and complaining and fits about strollers, but we were calmer, we had space to be calmer. And I really tried to hold that space too.
When Jake pulled up at the end of the day, we were already playing on the field. He joined in our frisbee throwing while the twins giggled holding hands and Hyrum rode his bike.
This is parenthood, I thought. It’s a mix of a lot of things, and certainly a lot that is hard. But a lot of it is fun and more of it is filling and all of it is growth. All of it is love. All of it is worth it. And I really love it all.
(notice Thea’s interest in dressing herself as of late)
The shift to more gospel learning at home may feel a bit daunting, but it doesn’t have to be! As a homeschool mom and one who used to be SO INTIMIDATED to teach my children at home, I have honed in on three things that I feel are MOST IMPORTANT and HELPFUL when it comes to teaching the gospel at home. They have helped me to LOVE and really appreciate this time teaching my kids and I know they can help YOU too!
This can apply to daily family scripture study, family home evening, or any come follow me lessons.
There are A LOT of additional resources available, but you don’t have to use them! You don’t! (Did you just breathe a little easier?)
Stick with the “Come Follow Me” manual and your scriptures and you can expand from there as your family and the Spirit directs. Simplicity CREATES SPACE for you to be guided in a way that will be best for you and your family.
My kids just turned seven and four (my toddler twins usually just play while we do this) and often when we sit down to read, we might only get through ONE VERSE and a whole discussion starts from there. That’s when the Spirit can guide.
I ask them questions and we start talking. If they have questions, we talk more. If they don’t seem to be interested or understand, I might pull out some pictures or we’ll look up a video or find some other object that will help them grasp the lesson better. All IN THE MOMENT. I rarely ever plan our daily studies ahead, I definitely study the material ahead of time and gain my own insights, but then I pray and let the Spirit and my family guide. Things grow so well that way.
Some days we just read a few verses and we’re done, especially if we’re having trouble staying focused or participating.
It’s EBB AND FLOW. Some days will be better than others, we often struggle to get everyone to sit and stay “focused,” but we are GROWING and I can already see the beauty from it.
The Spirit of God is our greatest teacher and most powerful resource for helping us to know what our family needs to learn, and then helping them to learn it.
Begin with a prayer to invite the Spirit and PRAY on your own each day to know what your family needs to focus on. Direction will come as you move forward and do things the best you know how. (Don’t wait for it.)
Don’t be afraid to go on TANGENTS, those are often prompted by the Spirit through you or your children.
Bear brief TESTIMONY when you can– how you’ve seen the principles work in your life. Let the Holy Ghost witness the truth to them. Those feelings are often the only things we remember after a lesson, but they are the most important.
3. CONNECT
Teaching is as much an opportunity for your kids to CONNECT with you as it is for them to LEARN from you.
Keep calm when gathering everyone. The rest of the house may not be calm but you can help set the tone. KINDESS precedes connection.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in parenting young children, it’s that the way you treat them sends a stronger message than what you teach them. If we teach them with all the LOVE we can muster, they are more likely to be receptive to it. And if we speak with love, the Spirit will be more able to reach them.
Kids are more capable of learning and understanding than we often assume. Ask questions beyond the basics, questions that will SPARK THEIR INTEREST and allow them to contribute in a way that is meaningful to THEM. Tune in to what interests them. Notice where their interest peaks and capitalize on that.
As for making a familyhome evening (or any weekly lesson),
FIT IT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY–
If you like to make crafts, make crafts, if you like to bake treats, bake treats. If you like to have someone else prepare a lesson for you, go online and find one (there are lots!! — @Familyhomeevening123@comefollowmefhe and sugardoodle.net are great. There’s also a whole host of other places for inspiration and resources like Pinterest, Google, and LDS.org). But remember that you don’t have to! Do what works for you!
*My biggest & SIMPLEST go-to resources for any lesson with young kids are:
PICTURES (the gospel art book is often all you need) and I love the Gospel Stories Book from the LDS Distribution Center (for just over $4!!) (Sometimes we read these at night as part of our bedtime stories and the kids really like it.)
ACTIONS (let them act it out, hold something, point to something, imagine a scenario with eyes closed, do hand motions, anything that gets them INVOLVED.)
-Teaching about Lehi’s family in the wilderness and they don’t seem interested?
*Let them IMAGINE what it feels like when they’re really hungry.
* TELL them the story about how Nephi’s bow broke and how they couldn’t get food.
*ASK them how they might FEEL and what they might DO about it.
*Let them ACT it out.
This could all happen in just 5 or 10 minutes! You can have a conversation about faith or prayer or how God will help us with our problems. You could even go around sharing experiences if you have time. It’s that simple! (And can be so powerful!)
I could go on about this, but these have stood out to me as the most important. I hope they are helpful tips for you! Teaching at home may seem intimidating at first, especially with young children, but if we practice these things, it won’t be! And we can even feel empowered to do so.
We can keep it SIMPLE, teach by the SPIRIT, and CONNECT in meaningful ways with our children. And there’s not much more important than that. 🙂
For all the hard things in my parenting experience, there is far more good. I’m convinced that family life is a powerful, intentional crucible for experience, LOVE, and profound growth.
I cried to Jake on the phone the other day while the babies napped and the kids watched a movie in the other room. I had these feelings I was trying to sort out earlier in the day and their energetic little bodies followed me into each room I quietly slipped into. I guess the feelings never got sorted out because I ended up in tears, but I felt just fine after talking it through and letting it go, when I had the moment to.
Sometimes when I’m going from one dumped cup to another crying child and then to the sink to clean out poopy underwear I think there’s just no way to recount the series of events involved in each day of raising young children. It’s hard work and it’s hard to explain.
But that is so very much with the way I feel about it too. It’s hard to explain how fulfilled I am by it. How much I love it. Or how grateful I am to have them— they are the greatest blessings the way they fill cracks in my heart and refine my soul and paint life with the happiest joys. They are beams of light in our home and every whisp of curl and fold of skin and the sweet, silly way they do things and learn things brings me wonder at the beautiful creation of life! And how blessed I feel to be a part of it.
Glad I get to fill bellies and nurture hearts and be the one they want to follow into every room. It is such a gift.
