The other day I was sitting on the floor by my bed while the kids were jumping onto it.
Esther crawled off, stood in front of me with her belly relaxed and her cheeks puffed under her eyes, and looked at me, locked right on my eyes.
I looked back at hers and felt a pulse of something straight to my center and down to my toes. A physical feeling. Love, connection, vulnerability, all those things.
In those moments we were entirely present, enough to exchange a split second something that felt surprisingly important.
A reminder maybe, that they see me. More than I think.
Or that I see them. That I am really present, really listening, and that they are too. Even just for that moment. I wonder if it lights them up inside like it does for me. Hyrum often wraps me in a hug when I look him in the eyes, like a core reaction to feeling seen.
It’s a powerful thing to let ourselves be really present with others. Love, connection, vulnerability, all those things. Even just a simple recognizing, acknowledging, and BEING SEEN. It’s powerful.
Have you noticed how much more content others seem when we look them in the eyes? (kids and spouse included). When we really SEE them?
Not in passing, not in prodding, not in asking, just when the option is there?
It’s a beautiful thing, and one I want to do more of. #mamanotes
(notice Thea’s interest in dressing herself as of late)
The shift to more gospel learning at home may feel a bit daunting, but it doesn’t have to be! As a homeschool mom and one who used to be SO INTIMIDATED to teach my children at home, I have honed in on three things that I feel are MOST IMPORTANT and HELPFUL when it comes to teaching the gospel at home. They have helped me to LOVE and really appreciate this time teaching my kids and I know they can help YOU too!
This can apply to daily family scripture study, family home evening, or any come follow me lessons.
There are A LOT of additional resources available, but you don’t have to use them! You don’t! (Did you just breathe a little easier?)
Stick with the “Come Follow Me” manual and your scriptures and you can expand from there as your family and the Spirit directs. Simplicity CREATES SPACE for you to be guided in a way that will be best for you and your family.
My kids just turned seven and four (my toddler twins usually just play while we do this) and often when we sit down to read, we might only get through ONE VERSE and a whole discussion starts from there. That’s when the Spirit can guide.
I ask them questions and we start talking. If they have questions, we talk more. If they don’t seem to be interested or understand, I might pull out some pictures or we’ll look up a video or find some other object that will help them grasp the lesson better. All IN THE MOMENT. I rarely ever plan our daily studies ahead, I definitely study the material ahead of time and gain my own insights, but then I pray and let the Spirit and my family guide. Things grow so well that way.
Some days we just read a few verses and we’re done, especially if we’re having trouble staying focused or participating.
It’s EBB AND FLOW. Some days will be better than others, we often struggle to get everyone to sit and stay “focused,” but we are GROWING and I can already see the beauty from it.
The Spirit of God is our greatest teacher and most powerful resource for helping us to know what our family needs to learn, and then helping them to learn it.
Begin with a prayer to invite the Spirit and PRAY on your own each day to know what your family needs to focus on. Direction will come as you move forward and do things the best you know how. (Don’t wait for it.)
Don’t be afraid to go on TANGENTS, those are often prompted by the Spirit through you or your children.
Bear brief TESTIMONY when you can– how you’ve seen the principles work in your life. Let the Holy Ghost witness the truth to them. Those feelings are often the only things we remember after a lesson, but they are the most important.
3. CONNECT
Teaching is as much an opportunity for your kids to CONNECT with you as it is for them to LEARN from you.
Keep calm when gathering everyone. The rest of the house may not be calm but you can help set the tone. KINDESS precedes connection.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in parenting young children, it’s that the way you treat them sends a stronger message than what you teach them. If we teach them with all the LOVE we can muster, they are more likely to be receptive to it. And if we speak with love, the Spirit will be more able to reach them.
Kids are more capable of learning and understanding than we often assume. Ask questions beyond the basics, questions that will SPARK THEIR INTEREST and allow them to contribute in a way that is meaningful to THEM. Tune in to what interests them. Notice where their interest peaks and capitalize on that.
As for making a familyhome evening (or any weekly lesson),
FIT IT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY–
If you like to make crafts, make crafts, if you like to bake treats, bake treats. If you like to have someone else prepare a lesson for you, go online and find one (there are lots!! — @Familyhomeevening123@comefollowmefhe and sugardoodle.net are great. There’s also a whole host of other places for inspiration and resources like Pinterest, Google, and LDS.org). But remember that you don’t have to! Do what works for you!
*My biggest & SIMPLEST go-to resources for any lesson with young kids are:
PICTURES (the gospel art book is often all you need) and I love the Gospel Stories Book from the LDS Distribution Center (for just over $4!!) (Sometimes we read these at night as part of our bedtime stories and the kids really like it.)
ACTIONS (let them act it out, hold something, point to something, imagine a scenario with eyes closed, do hand motions, anything that gets them INVOLVED.)
-Teaching about Lehi’s family in the wilderness and they don’t seem interested?
*Let them IMAGINE what it feels like when they’re really hungry.
* TELL them the story about how Nephi’s bow broke and how they couldn’t get food.
*ASK them how they might FEEL and what they might DO about it.
*Let them ACT it out.
This could all happen in just 5 or 10 minutes! You can have a conversation about faith or prayer or how God will help us with our problems. You could even go around sharing experiences if you have time. It’s that simple! (And can be so powerful!)
I could go on about this, but these have stood out to me as the most important. I hope they are helpful tips for you! Teaching at home may seem intimidating at first, especially with young children, but if we practice these things, it won’t be! And we can even feel empowered to do so.
We can keep it SIMPLE, teach by the SPIRIT, and CONNECT in meaningful ways with our children. And there’s not much more important than that. 🙂
It seems you’ve been seven long before today. Sometimes I forget how little you are. You recall little details, understand big things, and make friends of adults too.
But you’re still little.
The other day you had a meltdown about something I can’t remember, and as I held you in my lap you held your hands out to keep your sparkly nail polish from smearing. They are so little still.
You are colorful and fun and seem so much to want to connect your heart with others. You love creating and painting, wrestling on the bed, and you love to learn from stories. You can’t get enough stories.
I was surprised with your birthday request this year. I guess I figured you’d be interested in other things, but sure enough you twirl on your toes and love to take pictures, like me.
You asked for a camera for your birthday, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. You’ve been taking pictures all weekend, carefully selecting your favorites and deleting all the rest. All the while repeating things like, “Oh mom I just love this camera so much!” and “I’m just so happy I have this.”
We are so much alike— the way we dance for a pick me up, thrill in the sunshine, and cuddle up for books and good words.
I love spending this time with you.
You are light to me you know. Brilliant, beautiful light. You seem to be drawn to it too, soaking up every bit of truth and really recognizing it. I’ve thought often how quickly a soul can grow once here, because I’ve seen it in you. I’m sure you were much prepared in heaven.
You are ready to be here, Ava. Ready to do your part in this great time of times. That part will be important, I’m sure. I feel it in your excitement for life, your thrill for learning, and your testimony of truth.
Just glad you are still little, still growing, and that I still get to be a part of that.
We love you dearly Ava. You are a gift to the world and a beacon of light. Please keep sharing. Keep gathering that light and shine it like you do.
I sat against the wall in the hallway, resting for a minute while Hyrum finished his bath. Ava sat next to me while I opened my scriptures. “It’s been a few days since we’ve read and I’m feeling it,” I said. “Want to read some?”
She sat close to me and laid her head on my lap as I read. She was tired too. (We’re struggling for earlier bedtimes.)
We bathed and dressed everyone, and I prayed that I would find one of the twins’ shoes. We lost one at home and one at church last week and were left with two left ones. I tilted the basket down from the shelf and a bunch of their shoes and socks came tumbling out. I gathered the shoes and socks from the floor and under the crib where they had fallen, and found that all the shoes were there, all except for the one lost at church. I felt it was a gift and said a prayer of thanks.
We searched for snacks, handed out toys, read books, cleaned up messes, and tried our best to quiet our kids during church. In the middle of meetings I walked the rooms in search of the shoe and prayed again. I felt drawn to a little nook in the coat closet and found the little blue shoe behind some snow boots.
I was tired, and so grateful.
I sat in class next to some kind older women as some thoughts were shared. The teacher read the same scripture that I had read earlier with Ava and tears filled my eyes.
“Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee… Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”
Those words went into my heart and I felt the truth of them. They filled me from the inside out. They were no longer just words of scripture, they were words to me— words from heaven that I needed to hear.
A wise friend once spoke of these walls. She said that it brought her great comfort to think of the Lord standing by her, seeing the same walls—challenges, struggles, and experiences—as her.
I am certain that Jesus Christ is so aware of us, even with us, in the things we are experiencing—loving, strengthening, and teaching us as we struggle, and when we let Him—even in the small things. It’s all things wonderful and so many things hard raising little ones, and I especially felt that love today.
I pulled up to Ava’s dance studio six minutes late, again (and again and again ). As she crawled over the backseat to the door I said to her, “I’m sorry Ava, please tell your teacher I’m sorry that you’re late. Someday your mother will get you here on time.”
I had such a heaviness of heart. I was dragging behind on so many things and had a hard time holding up against the whines and tears and messes overlapping all day. I had just listened to a twenty minute meltdown about not having enough goldfish for a snack and if I could have, I would have slumped to the floor of my suv while dropping her off late, again.
All is well, it really is, but some days are just really hard to hold up, despite that.
Ava leaned over to open the door and responded in a kind voice, “It’s alright mom.”
If you can picture the kindness in her eyes, it was just what I needed.
She offered me the mercy I was withholding from myself and I marveled at the simple power of it to help me see what I was really lacking— not effort, but grace. I’m still going to try to be on time to her class next week, but I’m going to try to adopt her kindness in the meantime, even for myself. #mamanotes
