“Mom remember this morning how Thea had poop on her finger and we couldn’t figure out where it came from? Well we found it! It’s in your closet!”
Jake and I slumped on the couch together at 9pm, wondering, with partial desperation (but mostly just exhaustion) why the day was so hard. Except we knew largely why. It was Mother’s Day and the twins’ birthday and a whole clumpful of mixed expectations and efforts along with all the usual mess and mishaps (and lots of noise).
Add in my efforts to try to get a nice picture of all four of them together (because they were already dressed and looking nice for church) and everyone’s frustrations festered. I still didn’t end up getting it, at least not in their nice clothes.
It was funny (and not funny) throughout the day just thinking about everything that was happening. The twins fighting over their new toys, Ava yelling that she hated me, and Hyrum locking himself out of the apartment to pout. Esther was crying most of the day because she didn’t have the other stroller or she couldn’t fit her baby in just right, and the other kids whined and teased each other enough that I just laughed when we all sat down to eat brownies and ice cream because it was the quietest the house had been ALL DAY. We cringed at the thought of what our neighbors were thinking. We were all in need of a reset.
That reset came today. Jake and I got up before the kids to get ready for the day, and when Hyrum came into my room after waking I just held him. “I love you Mom,” he said, hugging me back.
I hugged them all as they woke up, looked into their little wanting eyes, and really looked, really listened. I moved along with their ideas and shooed away any thoughts of expectation. We fetched balloons from the grass, watched the wind move the leaves, and built train tracks. We still had tears and complaining and fits about strollers, but we were calmer, we had space to be calmer. And I really tried to hold that space too.
When Jake pulled up at the end of the day, we were already playing on the field. He joined in our frisbee throwing while the twins giggled holding hands and Hyrum rode his bike.
This is parenthood, I thought. It’s a mix of a lot of things, and certainly a lot that is hard. But a lot of it is fun and more of it is filling and all of it is growth. All of it is love. All of it is worth it. And I really love it all.
(notice Thea’s interest in dressing herself as of late)
The shift to more gospel learning at home may feel a bit daunting, but it doesn’t have to be! As a homeschool mom and one who used to be SO INTIMIDATED to teach my children at home, I have honed in on three things that I feel are MOST IMPORTANT and HELPFUL when it comes to teaching the gospel at home. They have helped me to LOVE and really appreciate this time teaching my kids and I know they can help YOU too!
This can apply to daily family scripture study, family home evening, or any come follow me lessons.
There are A LOT of additional resources available, but you don’t have to use them! You don’t! (Did you just breathe a little easier?)
Stick with the “Come Follow Me” manual and your scriptures and you can expand from there as your family and the Spirit directs. Simplicity CREATES SPACE for you to be guided in a way that will be best for you and your family.
My kids just turned seven and four (my toddler twins usually just play while we do this) and often when we sit down to read, we might only get through ONE VERSE and a whole discussion starts from there. That’s when the Spirit can guide.
I ask them questions and we start talking. If they have questions, we talk more. If they don’t seem to be interested or understand, I might pull out some pictures or we’ll look up a video or find some other object that will help them grasp the lesson better. All IN THE MOMENT. I rarely ever plan our daily studies ahead, I definitely study the material ahead of time and gain my own insights, but then I pray and let the Spirit and my family guide. Things grow so well that way.
Some days we just read a few verses and we’re done, especially if we’re having trouble staying focused or participating.
It’s EBB AND FLOW. Some days will be better than others, we often struggle to get everyone to sit and stay “focused,” but we are GROWING and I can already see the beauty from it.
The Spirit of God is our greatest teacher and most powerful resource for helping us to know what our family needs to learn, and then helping them to learn it.
Begin with a prayer to invite the Spirit and PRAY on your own each day to know what your family needs to focus on. Direction will come as you move forward and do things the best you know how. (Don’t wait for it.)
Don’t be afraid to go on TANGENTS, those are often prompted by the Spirit through you or your children.
Bear brief TESTIMONY when you can– how you’ve seen the principles work in your life. Let the Holy Ghost witness the truth to them. Those feelings are often the only things we remember after a lesson, but they are the most important.
3. CONNECT
Teaching is as much an opportunity for your kids to CONNECT with you as it is for them to LEARN from you.
Keep calm when gathering everyone. The rest of the house may not be calm but you can help set the tone. KINDESS precedes connection.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in parenting young children, it’s that the way you treat them sends a stronger message than what you teach them. If we teach them with all the LOVE we can muster, they are more likely to be receptive to it. And if we speak with love, the Spirit will be more able to reach them.
Kids are more capable of learning and understanding than we often assume. Ask questions beyond the basics, questions that will SPARK THEIR INTEREST and allow them to contribute in a way that is meaningful to THEM. Tune in to what interests them. Notice where their interest peaks and capitalize on that.
As for making a familyhome evening (or any weekly lesson),
FIT IT TO YOU AND YOUR FAMILY–
If you like to make crafts, make crafts, if you like to bake treats, bake treats. If you like to have someone else prepare a lesson for you, go online and find one (there are lots!! — @Familyhomeevening123@comefollowmefhe and sugardoodle.net are great. There’s also a whole host of other places for inspiration and resources like Pinterest, Google, and LDS.org). But remember that you don’t have to! Do what works for you!
*My biggest & SIMPLEST go-to resources for any lesson with young kids are:
PICTURES (the gospel art book is often all you need) and I love the Gospel Stories Book from the LDS Distribution Center (for just over $4!!) (Sometimes we read these at night as part of our bedtime stories and the kids really like it.)
ACTIONS (let them act it out, hold something, point to something, imagine a scenario with eyes closed, do hand motions, anything that gets them INVOLVED.)
-Teaching about Lehi’s family in the wilderness and they don’t seem interested?
*Let them IMAGINE what it feels like when they’re really hungry.
* TELL them the story about how Nephi’s bow broke and how they couldn’t get food.
*ASK them how they might FEEL and what they might DO about it.
*Let them ACT it out.
This could all happen in just 5 or 10 minutes! You can have a conversation about faith or prayer or how God will help us with our problems. You could even go around sharing experiences if you have time. It’s that simple! (And can be so powerful!)
I could go on about this, but these have stood out to me as the most important. I hope they are helpful tips for you! Teaching at home may seem intimidating at first, especially with young children, but if we practice these things, it won’t be! And we can even feel empowered to do so.
We can keep it SIMPLE, teach by the SPIRIT, and CONNECT in meaningful ways with our children. And there’s not much more important than that. 🙂
It seems you’ve been seven long before today. Sometimes I forget how little you are. You recall little details, understand big things, and make friends of adults too.
But you’re still little.
The other day you had a meltdown about something I can’t remember, and as I held you in my lap you held your hands out to keep your sparkly nail polish from smearing. They are so little still.
You are colorful and fun and seem so much to want to connect your heart with others. You love creating and painting, wrestling on the bed, and you love to learn from stories. You can’t get enough stories.
I was surprised with your birthday request this year. I guess I figured you’d be interested in other things, but sure enough you twirl on your toes and love to take pictures, like me.
You asked for a camera for your birthday, and you couldn’t be more thrilled. You’ve been taking pictures all weekend, carefully selecting your favorites and deleting all the rest. All the while repeating things like, “Oh mom I just love this camera so much!” and “I’m just so happy I have this.”
We are so much alike— the way we dance for a pick me up, thrill in the sunshine, and cuddle up for books and good words.
I love spending this time with you.
You are light to me you know. Brilliant, beautiful light. You seem to be drawn to it too, soaking up every bit of truth and really recognizing it. I’ve thought often how quickly a soul can grow once here, because I’ve seen it in you. I’m sure you were much prepared in heaven.
You are ready to be here, Ava. Ready to do your part in this great time of times. That part will be important, I’m sure. I feel it in your excitement for life, your thrill for learning, and your testimony of truth.
Just glad you are still little, still growing, and that I still get to be a part of that.
We love you dearly Ava. You are a gift to the world and a beacon of light. Please keep sharing. Keep gathering that light and shine it like you do.
I sat against the wall in the hallway, resting for a minute while Hyrum finished his bath. Ava sat next to me while I opened my scriptures. “It’s been a few days since we’ve read and I’m feeling it,” I said. “Want to read some?”
She sat close to me and laid her head on my lap as I read. She was tired too. (We’re struggling for earlier bedtimes.)
We bathed and dressed everyone, and I prayed that I would find one of the twins’ shoes. We lost one at home and one at church last week and were left with two left ones. I tilted the basket down from the shelf and a bunch of their shoes and socks came tumbling out. I gathered the shoes and socks from the floor and under the crib where they had fallen, and found that all the shoes were there, all except for the one lost at church. I felt it was a gift and said a prayer of thanks.
We searched for snacks, handed out toys, read books, cleaned up messes, and tried our best to quiet our kids during church. In the middle of meetings I walked the rooms in search of the shoe and prayed again. I felt drawn to a little nook in the coat closet and found the little blue shoe behind some snow boots.
I was tired, and so grateful.
I sat in class next to some kind older women as some thoughts were shared. The teacher read the same scripture that I had read earlier with Ava and tears filled my eyes.
“Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee… Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”
Those words went into my heart and I felt the truth of them. They filled me from the inside out. They were no longer just words of scripture, they were words to me— words from heaven that I needed to hear.
A wise friend once spoke of these walls. She said that it brought her great comfort to think of the Lord standing by her, seeing the same walls—challenges, struggles, and experiences—as her.
I am certain that Jesus Christ is so aware of us, even with us, in the things we are experiencing—loving, strengthening, and teaching us as we struggle, and when we let Him—even in the small things. It’s all things wonderful and so many things hard raising little ones, and I especially felt that love today.
We got back from our trip late Saturday night and it was so wonderful, I still can’t believe we were able to experience all that and I am excited to share some of that too (once I get my bearings again :). The last few days we’ve been settling back into things at home and it has definitely taken some settling.
Monday I watched as the dishes piled and the floor decorated with clothes and things strewn from our bags and cupboards and bins. I moved slowly preparing meals and caring for the kids and rested between the carpet and the couch while my kids took turns needing me. I was tired too. We all let go with feelings that needed to be felt and comforted. We cycled through many meltdowns over small things, that were probably an accumulation of bigger things, and I was calm inside, having already created space for this, ignoring all the other to-do’s. Today was just for this.
At one point Ava was quite upset and I gave her the option to rest in her room and color or to cuddle on the couch with me, and she stewed for a minute, then came running toward me with her arms out and her eyes still closed in tears. She fell asleep cuddled next to me like that.
Every time they needed me, I was there, or tried to be, and I rejoiced in being home with them, as tired as I was. I missed them so.
So while our house unraveled some, we grew together more, and perhaps refilled some too.
It was a day off the treadmill and apart from much of any fun “doing” or getting “done,” and it was also a day of strong emotions and tears for all of them, so it surprised me when at the end of the day Ava said in her prayers, “Thank you for this wonderful day and for all our wonderful days.”
She went on to say thanks for many more things and I felt too, what a gift it was. #mamanotes
