Mom I told Him how I was feeling!

Today I was on my knees when Ava asked me, “Mom, why do moms and dads say prayers when it’s not bedtime and they’re not eating food?”

I’ve been trying to teach her more about the meaning of prayer. Sometimes I don’t think that she realizes that when she is praying, she is actually talking to her Heavenly Father, that He is there, and that He is listening. Sometimes she is reluctant to say prayers, she just doesn’t feel like it.

The other night I suggested that she just talk to Him, tell him about her day and how she is feeling.  She looked at me, contemplating it for a moment, and then she did.  When she was done she said to me excitedly, “Mom I told Him how I was feeling!”

When I asked her if she was going to say her bedtime prayer last night she went right ahead and told Him a little about her day and how she was feeling. “I did it again Mom!”

So today I told her that I was praying because I really needed to tell Him how I was feeling. I told her that I needed some help, so I wanted to talk to Him.

I was having a moment of asking “Why isn’t this working out? I’m really trying, and I’m having a hard time with this and that. Please help me have patience. Please strengthen me.”

You know what I love about prayer?  When I really pray from my heart, really tell Him how I am feeling, I feel a little better–just by praying. I can feel that He is really there, really listening, and somehow that is healing, just that. I imagine that’s how Ava felt the other night when she happily exclaimed that she told Him how she was feeling.

But the glorious thing is that He doesn’t just listen, He answers. Many times it’s not right away, and many times it is so subtle that if we aren’t actively seeking it, we may miss it. And most times, we have to simply move forward, trusting that He heard us. And with that faith, we will feel His peaceful reassurances and His gentle guidance little by little, in His time. And they come, they always do.

Well, while I was praying I was reminded of some words from the scriptures–words which I had read, loved, and even wrote about the other day. Isn’t it funny how we can feel so sure about something one day, and need the same kind of reassurance just days later?  Or even just a gentle reminder? That is definitely me.

So I read it again.

When I was reading in Exodus the other day I came across this scripture that I never really noticed before, and I loved it. I thought, this is perfect for me and all my anxious, worried, impatient thoughts.

Exodus 14:14   “The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.”

Some background–Moses had just led the children of Israel out of Egypt into the wilderness. Some time after, Pharaoh and his armies pursued after them and the Israelites were terrified at the sight. They cried out to the Lord and to Moses with all their questions and their doubts. Surely, they assumed, they were headed to their death.

It was like in an instant their faith was trampled by their urgent needs and fears. It was like they threw their hands up saying, “See! It’s not working out! We tried and it’s not working out.”

That’s when Moses reassured the people, urging them to bolster their faith and trust in their God.  “Fear ye not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord, which he will shew to you today… The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.”

And as we know, they did see the salvation of the Lord. The Red Sea parted at the command of their prophet, whose power came from that God in whom he trusted. Their way was illuminated for the next little while, enough to get them through safely. And so their faith was strengthened to lean on again, to give them the courage to move forward at times when they could not see the way, times when the ground wasn’t dry.

Oh how we all are like those fearful Israelites at times when the way looks too unknown, when we just don’t know how things will all work out.  We dance and rejoice at the start of our journey, ever hopeful, with the promised land prominent in our minds. The journey doesn’t begin easy, but we are faithful and trust that it will all work out.

And then the problems come. We arrive at the banks of the Red Sea and we feel stuck. We are afraid to move forward and to keep trusting when things just don’t seem to be working out. We feel to say to our Heavenly Father, “I tried living that way, I tried following that impression, I tried praying, I tried having faith and it’s just not working out.”

Waves of uncertainties block our pathway. But at the same time, we are reminded from behind that a fearful retreat to Pharoah’s armies would forfeit our hope for a promised land. We would be enslaved once again to our old way of doing things–our meager faith, our complacency, our bad habits and addictions, our unhappiness. And our escape would only be harder the next time. And sometimes we do choose to go back. We decide to do it all on our own.

But sometimes we let the words of our loving prophet rekindle the flame of our faith and we “fear not, stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord.” We trust He who created us, who once taught us in our heavenly home that if we would walk uprightly, search diligently, pray always, and be believing, all things would work together for our good here on Earth. We lay our burdens and our fears at the feet of our Savior, Jesus Christ, and we hold our peace. We move forward by His light, trust in His grace, and witness the Lord fight for us to make it through safely.

And so we remain faithful. We recognize His mercies, walking ever more eager to seek guidance from above on our way to the promised land.

And He leads us there. He always does. And we are all the better for it.

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So now I’m feeling especially grateful for prayer and the scriptures and His gentle reminders. It will all work out, it always does.