Esther started walking this week! It’s so fun to see her toddle around, it’s the cutest thing. It’s hard to think that they will only be babies a little while longer. A few months maybe? Is there a moment of change? It seems they gradually grow into their toddling bodies with each new tooth, new word, and next step and we see it all and celebrate every one. But then they are walking and talking and eating just like us and we realize how quickly they left their babyness behind—how quickly their arms reach out instead of up and their bodies curl less in our arms. It’s like a river of childhood, where the baby months seem to pass most rapidly.
The rapids have been strong this year with two, and half the time I am so busy holding on that there has been little rest in the surroundings or the details. But calmer water is already steadying us, they are sleeping through the night and off playing with toys, and I am reminded that this time, this sweet baby time is so precious and fleeting! I can’t help but ache a little to leave behind the water that is passing so quickly, their sweet tinyness and greatest neediness, however rapidly it has tossed me.
So I am embracing it all and riding in the river too—cleaning their hands and kissing their cheeks, still holding them while they sleep and playing with them while they play, with the energy of my heart to keep me afloat. And I’ll still hold them close, for as long as I can.
#mamanotes
