I haven’t been feeling well. Nausea, fatigue, and headaches, combined with a messy house that keeps getting messier because I don’t have the energy to keep up, tummies that empty multiple times a day and need to be filled, and little ones that need lots of love and attention…
This week has been hard. Jake has been gone a lot with work and his church calling and other good things. I’ve had a migraine-like headache all day the past two days, and I’m struggling to keep my head up.
I read something today that mentioned Sunday was a good day to reflect on our blessings. I think I should do that now.
Today. Hyrum’s fevers are gone, and he slept better last night. He didn’t even get out of bed when I put him in his bed for the night. Ava has been so helpful, really trying to help me feel better. Yesterday she drew me a picture, and today she made me a present with her ponies and horse bean bag in it. She prays for me every day that I will feel better. In fact, she prays for everyone that they will get better, and never misses a night praying for the babies that they will grow strong and healthy. She has the biggest heart and really tries to help out. In the mornings when she and Hyrum wake up early, she takes him into the playroom to watch a movie, eat bananas, and play. They have their squabbles, but they also play really well together. She loves him a lot, so I’m grateful for that. It is also so fun to watch them, these sweet, adorable children that we get to have a part of our family.
I’m grateful that we still had leftovers in the fridge today. Glad I was able to finally clean the playroom and vacuum the family room last night so we could play in a clean space today. Grateful the kids didn’t make too many messes (or at least really messy messes.) Grateful we had the whole day to relax and play, not worrying about tasks, cleaning, or to-do lists. Sundays are such a gift that way. Grateful when Jake came home. He always comes home happy, and it makes us all happy.
Also, we read books tonight before bed. The kids love reading books, and I love reading to them, so I’m grateful for that.
Feeling better already.
One more thing.
I read a quote today that I had saved on my phone. Occasionally I’ll screenshot a quote I like that is posted on social media or wherever and keep it saved on my phone after emptying my pictures. I came across this one today while I was flipping through my phone.
“We need never feel we are alone or unloved in the Lord’s service because we never are. The Savior has promised angels on our left and on our right to bear us up, and He always keeps His word.” -Henry B. Eyring
When I read that, I wondered how I have been in the Lord’s service lately, or have I? I certainly feel like I haven’t been able to do much of anything lately with the way I’ve been feeling. Then I thought about my children, and how if nurturing them from the family room couch half the time day after day was all I could do, it would be just the kind of service He needed from me. It would be enough.
But where are my angels? This week has been hard. Today has been hard, and I have spent the last hour and a half trying to get my kids to stay in bed–reading, rocking, tickling backs, bringing in snacks, carrying them back to bed over and over. Where are my angels bearing me up in all of this? I’m really struggling here. Please send those angels, please help me get my children to sleep.
With that prayer and that plea, I walked back into Hyrum’s room for the twentieth (or so) time, scooped him up from where he stood by the door, and brought him into our room where Ava was tucked into our bed. “Hyrum is going to sleep with you here in your bed, but only if you both go right to sleep, no talking or playing now.” She agreed and cuddled right up to him, surely happy to have him there with her. We have them separated at bedtime because usually they play and get out of bed over and over and have a hard time settling down. Tonight was different though, they were both ready to settle down (it had been long enough.)
But I also believe my angels were there. Maybe Ava was that little angel, helping to comfort her brother and settle him to sleep. Or maybe they had angels comforting the two of them, wrapping their unseen arms around them, filling them with so much love that they couldn’t help but feel so content to sleep. However it was, my prayer was answered and they both went right to sleep. So I’m really grateful for that too.
